Disclaimer

Well, I’ve had to revisit, rewrite and rehash the disclaimer from a succinct statement to a rather more lengthy affair to make clear to the increasing number of paranoid, litigious, wealthy, self-publicising, arrogant, censorious and just plain stupid twits who insist, not only on visiting this blog, on failing to realise that, if they don’t like what they read and see, the option is always there not to come back.

So, the views expressed by author of this blog do not necessarily reflect the views of those who contribute their views, opinions, grumbles, rants and opnions to this blog, nor do they reflect the views of those who link to this website or quote from it, nor do they reflect the views of the author’s partner/spouse/other half/significant other, children/sprogs/offspring, father, mother, sisters, brother, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins (at whatever degree), grandparents, other predeceased relatives, step relations, any other blood relatives, any relatives by marriage, or indeed the views of any sane, right-minded individual—particularly the author.

Comments published on this blog are the work and sole responsibility of their writers, with said writers taking full responsibility, liability and blame for any libel, litigation or bad publicity that results from something written in a comment. The author of this blog reserves the right to block or delete comments as he feels fit and without right of explanation or reply. Having said that, comments will usually only be blocked/deleted where they are excessively rude, bad-tempered, or incite violence. Comments may be edited for brevity or, with the permission of the commenter, for clarity. The author of this blog makes no claims as to the accuracy, completeness, veracity, honesty, exactitude and factuality of comments posted on this blog.

While the author of the blog may appear to be an expert on everything, he is in fact not an expert on anything and makes no claim to offering safe, factual, reliable, honest or scientifically validated advice in the fields of animal health, zoology, the media, law, biology, botany, entomology, physics, chemistry, mechanics, bacteriology, biochemistry, brewing, parenting, phrenology, politics, aetiology, parasitology, dendrology, axiology, pharmacology, humour, ideology, hydrology, gastronomy, cooking, personal hygiene, pig keeping, phraseology, poultry keeping, storiology, education, religion, campanology, psychiatry, psychology, cartology, ethics, or any other field of human endeavour or interest. Under no circumstances should anyone attempt to replicate any of the author’s feats, trials, endeavours or activities, nor should they consider them to be safe, healthy or non-deleterious to human or animal health.

Should you genuinely seek advice or help in these or any other areas, please do not bother the blog’s author with your pleas as his words are little more than passing fancies that may not have the meaning intended or read into them. Instead, it is strongly suggested that contact the relevant professionals for advice on overcoming your problems, obstacles, impediments, difficulties or issues. Such advice can be gained from doctors, dentists, psychiatrists, psychologists, mental health workers, dieticians, lawyers, solicitors, barristers, hospitals, GP surgeries, veterinarians, relevant government departments, local councils and the like. Should you need to contact such people, please feel free to make use of telephone directories, online directors, search engines or even your next-door neighbour instead of the services of this blog’s author.

This website may, from time to time, advertently or inadvertently, link to other websites, some, or indeed many, of which will be in bad taste, prurient, disgusting, useless, rotten, repulsive, ill-written, badly informed, unreliable, in poor taste, of dubious reliability or provenance, poisonous, venomous, libelous, pornographic, hate-filled or even funny. The author of this blog makes no claims about the websites to which the blog links, nor does he condone, endorse or take responsibility for such content. If you decide to follow a link from this blog to another, you do so of your own free will and in the full knowledge that what you may find there may not be what you expect and may well cause you affront, shock, horror, disgust and unease. If this would be injurious to your mental, physical or spiritual well-being, please do not follow any links at any time.

Finally, if you fail to understand what this disclaimer is saying, then do not contact the blog’s author as he may well decide you’re a dysfunctional, illiterate, technophobic, humourless, useless waste of space and reply in a manner that may cause affront, shock, horror, disgust and unease.

In short, if you don’t like what you find here, close this window, leave this blog and go bother someone else. And if you want a question answered, start here.

17 Responses to “Disclaimer”

  1. I really like this :D

  2. well said….or rather, written!

  3. Geez… wish I’d read this before I attempted a root canal on myself using a pair of sharp secateurs and half a bag of ice.

    Take care. Oh I’m kidding. I used a full bag of ice. cheers

  4. heh heh heh

  5. Thank you. Delightful. With your parents’ consent I’d like to adopt you and send you packages of cookies and homemade beer. I make mead, generally dry and semi-dry, if you fancy that. Made a mangel ale recently, just before I found your blog about it.

  6. This made me laugh so hard. I have a small farm to raise our own food and live a more old fashioned life – and I understand your sentence “…be an expert on everything, he is in fact not an expert on anything…” I read that whole paragraph out loud to my other half and he patiently listened to every word. I was laughing so hard it was tough to complete the list.

    You are a wonderful writer. I loved when you said that you just stared when your OH didn’t come back with the car right away and had been on the phone instead. Oh yes, my husband has been in the same position with our Tamworth/Berkshire mixed hogs.

    Thank you for writing this blog and sharing your adventures! Please come see us in Vermont because we hardly ever get to Insch!

  7. Please can I copy your disclaimer?

    Pretty please! ?

    It is soooo well written!

  8. LMAO! Funniest thing I’ve read in ages… :-)

  9. Hi there Stonehead
    Love your disclaimer, love your blog, love the way you’ve handled the carping, moaning, whining and generally insane comments you sometimes get. I once received an e-mail of a newspaper snippet where the letter writer demanded that a (meat) farmer develop a conscience and go and get meat from the supermarkets where it’s especially grown for that purpose. Say what?! The caption was ‘You can’t cure stupid!’.

    We fled the big bad city some years back now and took to the hills in an attempt to live a different life. We knew just enough to get ourselves into trouble, and we’re keeping that tradition up.

    We still earn most of our living the way we did in the city (lucky, hey?), but we also farm (on a very small scale) timber, organic veggies, free range chickens and ducks, and (ever-controversial) rabbits!

  10. I have just read your disclaimer and I love it. Like everything about your blog. I especially like that you cook,my poor husband does good to make popcorn. Oh and we had rabbit for dinner yesterday that my grandson provided. Thanks for the view of what it is like to live on your croft.Keep on writing when you have time please.

  11. I think my sis will use this on her e-Bay store where she says the stupidest people in the world shop. “No body reads my directions” so she has them now in RED, all CAPS and about size 72. Doesn’t help. People still can’t follow directions. Obviously where we are in the world doesn’t make any difference. People will be people. Fancy that.

    GREAT blog. GREATER mind.

  12. I happened to read this as I was just settling down to another day. Not to appear as a member of a new generation but, “OMG!” and “ROFLMAO!!!”.

    I have just recently discovered this journal of your adventures, and I have found that I must (reluctantly) limit myself in my explorations due to, um … practical considerations.

    Please know, however, that you are living a dream that … I want to say many of us, though I can only speak for myself … how about: for others is ONLY a dream. Thank you SO much for sharing!

  13. I was drinking a cup of tea as I red the disclaimer, most of it came down my nose.

    More power to your pen….

    Mick n Mags.

  14. All these years and I’d never read the disclaimer before…love it…Do hope you’re all keeping Well …every good wish from Silly Sussex.

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